I feel like I'm really getting busy now but I still want to be recognized as a professional.  I need to find a way to leave that behind. 

I do a dance class on Tuesday evenings (set dancing), another on Wednesday afternoon (dance as exercise), Bridge group on Friday mornings, film group every 'last' Wednesday, aerobic exercise at the gym we've joined every morning and a book club starting in October.  I've had friends tell me that retirement is busier than work life and I'm definitely finding  that to be true. Yet, I find myself longing for a day of doing nothing, although that's a condition I also fear for some reason.  I've always been a productive person and want to continue that in my retirement from work, but I also want to NOT WORK.   That's a job in itself.

I've recently re-read a book that I co-authored with a person that I have known for many years and it's caused me to think that I'm not done working.  I think I'd really like to develop some of these really good ideas into a new service, to work on speaking on the topic and establishing a business around that.  I know I could do it.  I don't want to do it.  I'm having so much fun not working at a career.  I really want to pursue that, but I'm also afraid that I won't be able to do it.  I guess it's been the path of least resistance for me for so long that I don't know how to get out of this well worn rut.  I still want to compete and succeed in the narrow field where I feel so productive! 

But, I also want to succeed at living the life of Riley that I've earned. I hope there's a way to balance the two.

As I re-read this I can imagine young people looking at these words and saying "I wish," which also fills me with sadness.  I wish for you too, but I also would like you to know that you wish for the same things when you are 64 that you did when you were 26.  You will be the same person throughout your life.